just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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