We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
