belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
