I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
