I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
