My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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