remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
