Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
