So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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