I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
