she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
