You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Boobs are out for the taking
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
