If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
