Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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