you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
