i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
