its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
