i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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