"it" just moved
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
