Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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