I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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