I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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