Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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