I puked a lego.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So squirting runs in the family.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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