If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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