Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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