i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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