There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
