Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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