There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
