Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
