who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
