So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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