He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
