he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
