i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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