The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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