I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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