remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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