I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
