I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
