I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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