my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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