my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
