so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
