Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
