Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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