no you cant smoke seaweed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
