i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
