am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was confusing and full of hummus
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
