I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
