Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Welp...herpes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
