Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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