Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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