I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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